Real Doctors Share Their Funniest Patient Stories — In Their Own Words
These aren't composites. These aren't fictionalized. These are real physicians — named, credentialed, published — writing about the moments that made them laugh, that reminded them why they chose medicine, that got them through the next week of 14-hour days.
Medicine has a dark side that fills the headlines: burnout, moral injury, EHR documentation eating evenings and weekends. But there's another side that rarely gets written about — the absurd, the unexpected, the quietly hilarious. Here are physicians who wrote it down anyway.
From KevinMD.com
Dr. John Chase — Orthopedic Surgeon, Orlando Health
"Better to Be Seen and Not Viewed"
Dr. John Chase is an orthopedic surgeon at Orlando Health and the author of You What?!: Humorous Stories, Cautionary Tales, and Unexpected Insights About A Career in Medicine . Writing on KevinMD — the largest physician voice in social media, with 250,000 subscribers — he shared a collection of patient lines that have stayed with him over the years.
One elderly woman, when Dr. Chase offered the standard physician reassurance that getting older is "better than the alternative," stopped him cold with her comeback:
Another patient, on hearing news that could be interpreted as "you're getting older," grinned and said: "You mean you're telling me I'm past my sell-by date?"
When Dr. Chase asked a patient named Bob whether his bad knee kept him from doing anything he loved, Bob didn't hesitate: "Only going shopping at the mall!"
"It reminded me," Dr. Chase wrote, "that despite the seriousness of our work, it's important to keep a sense of humor and to be able to find a way to laugh and see the positive side of things."
From Medium — The Narrative Arc
Dr. Michael Burg — Retired Emergency Medicine Physician
"Decades in the Trenches and a Head Full of Joyous Stories"
Dr. Michael Burg spent his career in emergency medicine. When he retired, he didn't leave medicine behind — he started writing about it. He publishes under the name "Satire Sommelier" on Medium, where his essays about life in the ED have attracted thousands of readers.
His description of himself says everything you need to know: "a retired ER Doc with decades in the trenches and a head full of joyous stories straight from the gates of Emergency Department Hell."
One of his most-read pieces is titled "An ER Doc, a Malignant Trauma Surgeon and a Nitwit With a Gunshot Wound to the Head Mix It Up." The subtitle: "A happy whimsical tale." Over 6,400 readers apparently agreed — that's how many clapped for it on Medium. Emergency medicine produces a very specific kind of dark, affectionate humor that you can't fake.
From KevinMD.com
Dr. Diego R. Hijano — Physician-Scientist, Pediatric Oncology, St. Jude Children's Research Hospital
Making a Kid in Cancer Treatment Laugh
Dr. Diego R. Hijano is a physician-scientist at St. Jude Children's Research Hospital — one of the most emotionally demanding places a doctor can work. He treats children with cancer. And he wrote an essay, published on KevinMD in August 2025, about why humor matters most in the darkest rooms.
His essay describes "playful exchanges with children, language slips, and inside jokes with families" — moments where laughter broke through fear and restored something human to a room full of machines and medication.
"Presence, not perfection," he wrote, "is what patients remember most."
Drawing on the legacy of Danny Thomas and St. Jude's founding mission, Dr. Hijano makes the case that humor isn't unprofessional in pediatric oncology — it's the job. Getting a scared eight-year-old to laugh is medicine.
From KevinMD.com
Dr. Sidney J. Winawer — Gastroenterologist, 50+ Years in Practice
The Gilbert & Sullivan Problem
Dr. Sidney J. Winawer is a gastroenterologist with over fifty years in medicine, now emeritus. After five decades watching healthcare evolve, he published a piece on KevinMD in April 2026 that describes the modern patient experience as a Gilbert and Sullivan operetta — spinning from one "-ologist" to the next, bewildered and exhausted.
His parody begins: "I am the very model of a modern MD's patient / I can cite ills astronomical in order anatomical / From neurology and cardiology then on to dermatology / And many other specialties according to biology..."
The poem ends with the patient retreating to a psychologist simply to process why they visited every specialist in the first place.
Dr. Winawer's epilogue is sincere: "It is often helpful for a patient to have a trusted primary care professional who knows them well and can help navigate through the complex medical system." Half a century of medicine, and that's what he landed on. A doctor who knows you. Not a system that processes you.
What These Stories Have in Common
An orthopedic surgeon. A retired ER doc. A pediatric oncologist. A gastroenterologist who's been practicing since before most doctors today were born. Different specialties, different generations, different institutions.
All of them found a reason to write. Not about protocols. Not about billing. Not about prior authorizations or inbox management. About the patient who made them laugh. The kid in oncology who smiled anyway. The eighty-year-old woman with the perfect one-liner.
These are the moments that don't get charted. They exist somewhere between the visit and the note — in the thirty seconds after the room clears when a doctor thinks, I'm going to remember that one.
The problem isn't that those moments stop happening. The problem is that when you're charting until midnight, you don't have the space to hold them. They get buried under the EHR queue.
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